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The Relationship with Ourselves (Part 2)

“Life is to man, in other words, to will, what chemical re-agents are to the body: it is only by life that a man reveals what he is, and it is only in so far as he reveals himself that he exists at all. Life is the manifestation of character, of the something that we understand by that word; and it is not in life, but outside of it, and outside time, that character undergoes alteration, as a result of the self-knowledge which life gives. Life is only the mirror into which a man gazes not in order that he may get a reflection of himself, but that he may come to understand himself by that reflection; that he may see what it is that the mirror shows. Life is the proof sheet, in which the compositors’ errors are brought to light.”

Arthur Schopenhauer (The Essays of Arthur Schopenhauer; On Human Nature)

Beyond Creation

In my post, The Relationship with Ourselves (Part 1), I talk about how many of us fail to recognize the significance of the relationship with ourselves, the different aspects that make up this relationship, and how we can use this knowledge to turn our biggest enemy into our biggest ally. It’s difficult work, but doing it is worthwhile and enriches our lives in a beautiful way.

However, utilizing the knowledge of the relationship with ourselves is more than just creating ourselves. It is also accepting and not avoiding ourselves. Meditating on our flaws, contradictions, and inconsistencies, then embracing them. What I’m suggesting is deeper than “self-love“, especially since that term has been bastardized in the modern world.

Taking on the responsibility of developing an integrated and healthy relationship with ourselves is a form of true love and acceptance of all that we are, in our beauty and catastrophe.

The more I write about this topic, the more I discover how much I cannot cover in these blog posts, so I’m going to hone in and just focus on one section of this idea. This post is going to focus on the archetypically negative side of ourselves. The sides of ourselves that many of us like to reject, ignore, and avoid at all costs.

Existence is the positive, the good, and the light. But it is also the negative, the bad, and the darkness. To be a human being is to understand that both the good and bad lies within our soul. Pretending that we are only good (or that we are not bad) ignores half the story and, more often than not, causes more harm than good.

“The line separating good and evil passes not through states, nor between classes, nor between political parties either – but right through every human heart…even within hearts overwhelmed by evil, one small bridgehead of good is retained. And even in the best of all hearts, there remains…an uprooted small corner of evil.”

Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn (The Gulag Archipelago)

The human mind is commonly compared to a horse and it’s rider. The horse being the unconscious mind, and the rider being the conscious mind. It’s the rider’s job to direct the horse to a desired goal, similar to the conscious mind to the unconscious mind.

From what I can tell, our psyches are more than one horse and one rider. We have many horses and it is our moral obligation to pay attention to our horses and how they may act. Similar to how people are responsible for their pets.

If we cannot comprehend that we’re dangerous, then that horse is without a rider, so to speak, and it’s free to cause as much meyhem as it will.

We have horses that we purposely try to reject, ignore, and avoid. Since these horses are usually archetypically negative, they are commonly conflated with pain and suffering. However, the structures of suffering are built right into existence and we must learn to contend with it or we’re doomed to chasing phantoms forever.

“Pain and death are part of life. To reject them is to reject life itself.”

Havelock Ellis (1859-1939)

Good Children and Repression

“When one tries desperately to be good and wonderful and perfect, then all the more the shadow develops a definite will to be black and evil and destructive. People cannot see that; they are always striving to be marvellous, and then they discover that terrible destructive things happen which they cannot understand, and they either deny that such facts have anything to do with them, or if they admit them, they take them for natural afflictions, or they try to minimize them and to shift the responsibility elsewhere. The fact is that if one tries beyond one’s capacity to be perfect, the shadow descends into hell and becomes the devil.”

Carl Jung (Visions: Notes of the Seminar Given in 1930–1934)

A fantastic example of repression are in children who consider themselves “good.”

Good children can be spotted as the ones who finish their homework early, are a little shy, always try to help their parents, and maybe even have neat handwriting. Good children strive to be perfect and on most measures may even match up with these extraordinary expectations.

The real insidious danger of the good child lies in other people not thinking anything is wrong with them. From a surface level analysis, it’s easy to conclude that there isn’t anything wrong with these kids. Adults will shift their focus, and attribute most of the problems to children who are causing conspicuous trouble, even though a little trouble is necessary for a healthy psyche.

Since good children are always doing what’s expected of them, they constantly repress their own desires and inner feelings.

This can be from a number of reasons.

Maybe a parent is depressed and overwhelmed. The child notices this and believes that this parent can’t take anymore trouble. So the good child does everything they can to make sure they aren’t the source of anymore trouble, ever.

Or perhaps one parent is a violent angry perfectionist who explodes at any behavior that’s less than perfect.

No matter the reason, a need for excessive compliance is not natural or healthy and should be treated like the danger it really is.

When a child develops a need for excessive compliance, they become over encumbered with secrets and repress their inner wants for the sake of complying with others.

This repression could take the form of psychosomatic symptoms like twitches, sudden emotional outbursts, excessive bitterness, or irritability. The child may not even be able to identify the reason for the psychosomatic symptoms because they have such little familiarity with their own feelings.

The good child does not have access to the privilege of other people being willing or able to tolerate their imperfections. A privilege necessary for a mentally healthy child.

Good children typically do not have the privilege to express their negative emotions and still be loved or accepted by people around them. In a situation like that, it’s no surprise that someone could conclude that the only way they’ll be accepted is through acting good all the time.

The good child may grow to believe that their personal wants and desires are inappropriate.

This causes a detachment from their bodies and emotions. People like this have a difficult time forming healthy relationships with others later in life. Or, as a response to the repression, the good child may give in to their inner desires too much creating a whole new pathology.

Adult life is full of moments when we need to “break the rules” or act in ways that may upset people. Good children end up having issues as they get older, because they tend to follow the rules and try not to upset people. Without either of these abilities, the good child is damned to a life of mediocrity and people pleasing.

The dangers of repression can take many different forms and don’t just apply to good children. Aiming to understand the shadow sides of ourselves is the path to proper maturity.

Proper maturity involves a deep integration of our less than perfect sides as well as our dark sides. Accepting ourselves in our beauty and catastrophe is crucial to building a strong foundation for the relationship with ourselves.

Establishing a Foundation

Human beings are creators through Logos. We create our lives through our speech. We invent worlds and stories through our conversations and live in them. Most of the time we can’t tell the difference between our conversational world and the “real” world. We build relationships through conversation and the relationship with ourselves is no different.

Most people wouldn’t tell their child to lie as much as they can to get what they want. Many of us know, either from personal experience or otherwise, that lying is a terrible long term strategy. If we were to catch someone lying to us, it would be upsetting and we wouldn’t be as willing to trust them in the future. We also know that if we were caught lying to someone else, they would feel the same way about us.

However, there is one person whom we don’t mind lying to and I bet you can guess who it is…

Ourselves.

Healthy relationships are built on honesty. In order to have a healthy relationship with ourselves, we must be able to be honest with ourselves. Honesty is a solid foundation that must be established first before any relationship can be built. If we try to build a relationship without honesty, sooner or later it will all come crashing down.

Honesty comes when we choose to stop lying to ourselves, but in order to do that we need to understand why we lie to ourselves.

We lie to avoid pain.

We love to lie about all of the problematic aspects that take tremendous effort to alter including but not limited to, our careers, relationships, health, habits, or ideologies.

It’s easier to attempt to elicit sympathy from others and ourselves than be honest with our inadequacies. The truth is we could change these things about our lives, but we lie and say we can’t. The best part is no one can call us on our bluff because we are lying to ourselves! Modern people have learned to avoid responsibility, even though adopting it provides us with meaning.

We lie to think well of ourselves.

We lie to not feel inadequate.

We lie because we are angry with people we are supposed to love and the matters we are angry about are petty.

We lie because it’s easy.

We lie because telling the truth makes us responsible.

We lie because if we don’t it will be ourselves holding us back and nothing or no one else.

As long as we understand the drives within us, then maybe we could see past the lies and look at our lives honestly. While the lying satiates us in the present, we will be forced to deal with the truth later. We can choose to confront our lies willingly, or let them take us unexpectedly when we are older. When we confront them willingly, we prove ourselves to be braver and establish a solid foundation to build the bravery upon. That bravery now has the freedom to grow into something much bigger.

No matter which choice we make, it will be painful. The idea that freedom is on the other end of suffering is a tragedy. Everyone deals with their own tragedy of life in their own way and lying to ourselves isn’t the only trick up our sleeve. This can be different for each individual and I recommend looking into methods of coping with the tragedy of life. I wrote a little bit about other methods we use to deal with our own tragedy in my post Proclivity for Comfort.

Here are some of the popular maneuvers that we use to lie to ourselves:

Distraction & Addiction

This can look like porn, news, drugs, work, etc. I go a little deeper about distraction in Proclivity for Comfort.

Manic Cheeriness

Repressed sadness can often display as intense happiness. The rejection of negative or sad emotions is so deep that we don’t let ourselves feel any sadness at all resulting in an overly happy affect.

Irritability

Being irritated is a fantastic indicator that something is wrong. However, general irritability is a cover up for unspecified issues. Honing in on elevated articulation is key for combating general irritability.

Denigration

Destructivly critiquing ourselves or others. Any fool can tear something down, but it takes substantial effort to critique then offer a solution. Most of the time, denigration is misdirected energy. Talking shit helps no one, focus on what really needs fixing.

Censoriousness

Being over critical of ourselves or other people is another sign that we are misguiding our efforts. Usually, it’s easier to find the mistakes in everything else, rather than fixing the fault where it really matters.

Defensiveness

Defensiveness comes when we have something to prove. We only feel like we need to prove something if we feel like what we are isn’t what we would like to show. If we understood what we are, accepting both our strengths and weaknesses, then maybe we would lose the need to prove we are more than what we are.

Cynicism & Dispair

These come with the loss of naïveté. When we first encounter more chaos than we can process, we inevitably lose our childlike view of the world. Suddenly, not everyone is a friend and life is no longer fun and games. While it’s easy to ride that train straight to Hell, true wisdom and freedom comes from integrating our childlike wonder with our newfound understanding of malevolence and destruction. Keep the child alive in us, but let the adult really run the show.

Utilizing Anxiety

“We should not try to ‘get rid’ of a neurosis, but rather to experience what it means, what it has to teach, what its purpose is.”

Carl Jung (Civilization in Transition)
Enlightenment through Anxiety – Big thanks to Academy of Ideas

Before we get into using anxiety to our advantage, let’s discuss why we get anxiety in the first place.

“The distinctive characteristic of the human being, in contrast to the merely vegetative or the merely animal, lies in the range of human possibility and in our capacity for self-awareness of possibility. Kierkegaard sees man as a creature who is continually beckoned by possibility, who conceives of possibility, visualizes it, and by creative activity carries it into actuality.” 

Rollo May (The Meaning of Anxiety)

Human beings have a special capacity to project possible scenarios into the future. We can think about how events could play out without actually having to act them out in real life. A lot of this type of processing happens in our prefrontal cortex, I talk about this in my post The Brain vs. The Mind. This gives us a huge advantage when it comes to survival and undoubtedly a huge contributor to our reign over the animal kingdom.

But it’s not without a price.

Choosing which potential projection to bring into reality is how we create our lives, but it’s also one of the sources of our anxiety. In this way, humans must contend with their freedom like no other animal must. We ask questions that other animals cannot ask themselves. Which potential reality is best for me? Which potential reality will bring me danger? What do I do about potential threats in the future?

Søren Kierkegaard, renown Danish philosopher, suggests the escape from a life of passivity, stagnation, or mediocrity lies in our willingness to attend, what he calls, The School of Anxiety.

Kierkegaard believes anxiety has two sides to it.

One side is demonic and can ruin our lives. This is the side we traditionally think of when we think about anxiety.

The other is constructive and guides us towards a development of the Jungian Self. Anxiety can act as directions in the journey of circumambulation.

Most people advise to follow one’s dreams, Kierkegaard advises to follow one’s anxiety. Avoiding and rejecting our anxiety leaves us blind and frozen. Our anxiety gives us a glimpse into which possible scenarios we ought to take. Anxiety can tell us what to direct our energy towards. It lets us know what we really find important.

“The capacity to bear anxiety is important for the individual’s self-realization and for his conquest of his environment. Every person experiences continual shocks and threats to his existence; indeed, self-actualization occurs only at the price of moving ahead despite such shocks. This indicates the constructive use of anxiety”

Rollo May (The Meaning of Anxiety)

As May suggests, moving forward through our anxiety is the way to a greater version of ourselves. Greatness lies on the other side of anxiety, as long as we are willing to push ahead.

Unfortunately, much of the common attitude towards anxiety is to reject or avoid it. Having anxiety is seen to be a problem that we “shouldn’t” have and feeling negative emotion has been made to be “bad” & “wrong” in modern society. This is because the constructive elements of anxiety are not easily visible to the masses.

This rejection and avoidance are so deep that some people would even claim to not desire a greater life. When our comfort and security are more appealing than the anxiety that lurks in the unknown, resignation of this nature becomes common practice. This is precisely why the trap of passivity, stagnation, and mediocrity lies in the rejection of anxiety.

When we refuse to move into the possibilities which make us anxious, we sentence the side of us seeking self-realization and a greater life to death. This isn’t a clean death either, it’s slow and sloppy. Repressing this side of ourselves breeds a violent shadow and I would go as far to say that it is like repressing the will to life itself. The tension within ourselves created from willingly seeking self-realization or circumambulation is what gives our lives meaning and stimulates the deepest parts of ourselves.

In order to access the constructive parts of anxiety, we first have to understand that we can always take action, even if we are enveloped with anxiety.

Believing that we have to get rid of our anxiety before we can act puts us at a serious disadvantage for a couple of reasons. It facilitates procrastination and it can lead to a serious dependence on drugs or alcohol.

Holding on to the idea that we need to remove anxiety to act makes us weak.

The next thing we need to understand to access the constructive parts of anxiety is understanding that no one can do this for us except for ourselves.

Realizing that nothing in my life was ever going to change unless I did something to make it change was one of the most anxiety-inducing, but empowering realizations I’ve ever had. I was able to switch my Locus of Control. This realization helped me see the constructive side to anxiety.

The possibilities which stress us out are precisely what we need to pay more attention to. The anxiety is an opportunity to exercise our divine abilities, it’s the call of the hero’s journey.

“One of the most important [revelatory] moments is when the client grasps that no one is coming. No one is coming to save me; no one is coming to make life right for me; no one is coming to solve my problems. If I don’t do something, nothing is going to get better. The dream of a rescuer who will deliver us may offer a kind of comfort, but it leaves us passive and powerless. We may feel if only I suffer long enough, if only I yearn desperately enough, somehow a miracle will happen, but this is the kind of self-deception one pays for with one’s life as it drains away into the abyss of unredeemable possibilities and irretrievable days, months, decades.”


Nathaniel Branden (1930-2014)

Enhancing our levels of articulation is another constructive and effective way of coping with anxiety. We experience anxiety when we find ourselves in too much chaos. When things don’t work out the way we expect, our brain responds by trying to prepare for whatever potential danger is lurking around the corner.

Let’s say we’re pre-med, but we get an F on a test. When we recieve that F, we are thrown out order into the domain of chaos because we aren’t sure what the F symbolizes.

Did we just get one question on the test wrong? Did we just forget to study a concept? Did we not properly learn the prerequisite material from the last class? Do we need to change our lifestyle choices? Are we incapable of learning this information? Are we not good enough to get into medical school? Are we too stupid to take this class? Are we even good enough to pursue anything bigger than us?

It’s easy for these questions to spiral out of control, because we don’t know exactly where the error lies. Maybe we just forgot a concept, but maybe we might not even be cut out for our goals at all! Anxiety comes from our mind trying to prepare for all of those scenarios at once. Our threat detection systems in our body are put into overdrive and that makes it difficult to do a lot of things. However, once we specify what we are able to prepare for, the anxiety immediately begins to subside. If there was some way of knowing exactly where the error was, then there’s no need to prepare for everything all at once.

Enhancing our levels of articulation helps us direct our energy towards something definitive, which keeps anxiety at bay, rather than letting our minds run while trying to plan a new career path, prepare for a panther attack, and an alien invasion all at the same time.

We will constantly have to choose between avoiding or moving forward. What will aid us in moving forward isn’t wisdom, intelligence, or even new information. It is the integration of the Jungian Shadow. Creating a relationship with ourselves which captivates the sides of ourselves we tend to reject, ignore, and avoid will provide a steady mechanism that can impel us to act even when our reason tries to stop us. Sometimes our instincts are wiser than our evolved executive cognition. Accepting the sides of us which yearn for chaos gives us the advantage in utilizing our anxiety.

Life is too short to not take the bold risks a fully lived human life requires.

“For believe me: the secret for harvesting from existence the greatest fruitfulness and the greatest enjoyment is – to live dangerously!”

Friedrich Nietzsche (The Gay Science)
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Lifestyle

Lessons from an Application + Tips from Winston Churchill

“Mostly it is loss which teaches us about the worth of things.”

Arthur Schopenhauer (Parerga and Paralipomena)

My girlfriend recently emailed me a potential dream job that she thought I was the perfect fit for. I was elated to discover that renown author and habit-guru, James Clear, is hiring a podcast writer/researcher and producer. Given my nerdy passion for self-improvement and audio engineering, I figured this would be a fantastic opportunity to pursue.

I’ve always hated applications, but this one has taught me a few lessons that I think are worth sharing. Some came from the application itself, others came from my overachieving spirit taking on unnecessary challenges.

Future Opportunities are Difficult to Imagine

A part of the application that made me think was when Clear asked the applicant how much money they expect to be paid for the position. I know I’m fairly new to the “real world,” so to speak, but the idea of getting handed a blank check to do meaningful and potentially life changing work is so beautiful to me.

How crazy is it that there’s this job that appeared over the recent years that has no established monetary value. Then I got to thinking…how many other unforeseen opportunities are coming? How many other jobs will come that will give people the opportunity to write their own checks? It’s so wild to think about the seemingly boundless opportunities that come with our rapid technological growth. Podcast writer/researcher/producer was not a popular job just a few short years ago, but now there are people who will pay handsomely for someone with those unique set of skills.

After seeing this, I see that it’s so important to focus on developing skills that interest us because future opportunities are difficult to imagine and perhaps one day a well-paying and flexible job will look for someone with those particular set of skills in that particular combination. In a world of niches and specialization, we need to find new ways to make ourselves relevant and it seems like cultivating our inclinations is our best bet.

Modes of Growth

When I looked at my website, my writing, and resume, I was unsatisfied and embarrassed. I was so frustrated because I felt burnout creeping in and I couldn’t see any ways to make my situation better. I took a step back and saw this as an opportunity to level up everything, so even if I don’t get the job, the energy dedicated to this application is worthwhile. I had to stop with experimenting and work on presenting. Off with Experimentation Mode and on with Presentation Mode.

Once I switched gears, I was working harder than ever before. Suddenly, I knew what had to be done and saw multiple ways to get to where I needed to go. This was an important realization in a time of burnout and complacency. Once I switched my mode of growth, I had a whole new set of problems to tackle. I was so inspired that I made plans that will take way longer than the application window to complete, but that’s totally fine.

Being the nerd I am, I started to wonder why I had this newfound energy. I wanted to know what exactly broke me out of my burnout and complacency. I was thinking about Big Sean and when he goes into “Album Mode,” he’s focused, setting his intentions, attentions, and energy all in one place. That got me thinking…we all have different modes to our outward development. We don’t necessarily have to have “Album Mode” or “Presenting Mode,” but having different creative “modes” helps us switch to the perspectives we need to take action.

Paying Attention Paid Off

I kept stopping the application to work on the musical pillar of my online city and realized that I kept wanting to dedicate my energy to myself and my own endeavors. I’m not saying I’ll be James Clear, but James had to dedicate a huge amount of energy in order to create the body of work he has today.

If I’m naturally gravitating towards working on my own endeavors, then I ought to get out of my own way. For a while I wondered if I was paying proper attention to my own patterns and behaviors, but now I have another example as to why paying attention to our own behavior is worthwhile. When I made the switch from working on someone else’s plan, to working on my own, I felt less anxious and stressed. The application didn’t cause me a huge amount of stress, but it does feel a hell of a lot better to work on my own contribution to humanity.

In the end, I decided not to submit an application but the lessons I got from it felt like a good trade.

-Future opportunities are difficult to imagine, so focus on what keeps you interested and useful.

-Have different modes of growth to help change perspectives in times of burnout or complacency.

-Pay attention to what I’m subconsciously trying to do and get out of my own way if it aligns with my values.

How to Be a Better Leader: Tips from Winston Churchill

One of the questions on the application was asking us how we would handle writing a practice podcast transcript on the topic “How to Be a Better Leader: Tips from Winston Churchill.” I thought this was an excellent question to ask because it gave Clear a clear idea (no pun intended) of how this new hiree will work once everything is said and done.

When I read The 4-Hour Workweek (which is on my Must Read List), Tim suggested to have a preliminary task set up for potential hires to see how each person would work. This way you can evaluate their workflow, how quickly they can complete the project, a sample of their work, and if you like working with them in general.

Given how I saw the question, I figured the best thing to do would be to actually write out the transcript and detail my workflow. Since I decided to not follow through with the application, I didn’t finish writing the transcript, but I did do a good amount of research for it and learned some valuable lessons. Without further adieu (in a much more casual manner) here are some lessons I learned from Winston Churchill on how to be a better leader.

Never ever stop.

“If you’re going through Hell, keep going.”

Winston Churchill (1874-1965)

I’ll start with one of his most popular quotes. Churchill was no stranger to situations akin to Hell. He participated in many wars as a soldier and a Prime Minister. War can be seen as close to Hell as we can get and Churchill had experience with it on the front lines as well as being in charge of millions of lives. On top of that, the guy lived to the ripe ol’ age of 90! If you’ve read some of my other posts, you know that I truly believe life is suffering and to reject that suffering is to reject life itself, so we must do everything we can to learn how to deal with that and other tragedies of life. I talk a little bit about this in my post Proclivity for Comfort. Since Churchill lived for so long, it’s safe to assume that the man has seen the innate hardships of life, which I believe can also be akin to Hell. I believe it’s safe to say that Churchill knows Hell and how to get through it. Keep going. If things get hard, keep going. If things aren’t hard, they will be. Plan for the worst and keep going.

On a slightly different note, I was also reading Austin Kleon’s third book, Keep Going, which is a solid book on how to stay creative in good times and bad. I’m pretty sure Kleon didn’t reference Churchill, but I want I mention this too since this week’s post is more about lessons I’ve learned over the last week. Kleon offers many different ways to stay creative, but the most influential idea for me was to make gifts. Basically, when you’re in a creative slump, make gifts to get in touch with your gift. When you think of creating something of value for another person, we see tons of new ways to utilize our talents.

Persistence will conquer strength, intelligence, talent and hard work. Without persistence, we are nothing. Being strong, smart, and talented can give us a leg up, but someone with more persistence will be the champion.

I feel like Churchill’s advice to keep going is amazingly perfect and simple, but to take it a step further, we should look for specific methods to keep going. Persistence is the goal, finding the methods to get there is our task. Excellent for leadership, excellent for conducting ourselves powerfully in the world.

Intentionality is for the strong.

“I like things to happen, and if they don’t happen, I like to make them happen.”

Winston Churchill (1874-1965)

Churchill has so many quotes, but a common thread between a lot of them is his reverence for intentionality. In a phrase, Churchill believed that people want things to happen, but don’t try to make them happen. He wanted to participate in life, not just observe it. He suggests that great leaders will bring out what they want into the world despite other forces working against them. The good leader delivers results, on purpose.

What comes with intentionality is confidence. When someone knows themselves as someone who can bring about their own will into the world, then they are confident, especially in times of uncertainty. Leaders view themselves as being able to impose their will on the world and NOT the other way around. Leaders have an Internal Locus of Control. Now, this isn’t to say that we should just do whatever we please and force others to act how we’d like, this is simple a mindset to approach potential problems from. When we are intentional, we build confidence, and when we’re confidence, we build intentionality. The combination of these traits gives us a backbone, and are way less likely to fold under pressure.

Pick your battles.

“You will never get to the end of the journey if you stop to shy a stone at every dog that barks.”

Winston Churchill (1874-1965)

This is similar to intentionality, because fighting every battle you come across, or stopping to shy a stone at every dog that barks, is not intentional at all. Getting distracted by ever disturbance you’ll come across will eventually stop you completely. Some things are worth ignoring or letting go. A good leader knows when to move on. A good leader knows when to quit. However, when the time does come for a fight a good leader must know how to conduct himself in battle, be it physical, verbal, or mental. We can’t give our attention to the barking dogs, for they are just beats who follow their lowly urges. These animals cannot see what we see and therefore their judgment cannot be taken into consideration. Haters gon hate.

Move beyond the failure.

“Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.”

Winston Churchill (1874-1965)

Churchill was big on failing early and failing often. I’m not surprised because Churchill was a smart guy. I talk about The Power of Failure a lot because it is the basis for learning. Churchill, without all the modern research on learning, understood that you have to be willing to fail again and again in order to achieve something of significance.

There is no other way to heaven except through death. We must be willing to sacrifice the part of ourselves that is wrong and inadequate in order to make room for the part of ourselves that is correct and competent. Learning that we’re wrong hurts and leads to suffering, but if we can willingly confront that part of our lives then we can fasttrack our abilities to learn and develop skills. Fail all the time, but don’t let it take you down. Excellent leaders are so because they have learned how to be.

We are never done.

“Success is not final, failure is not fatal; it is the courage to continue that counts.”

Winston Churchill (1874-1965)

This also ties into never ever stopping. Persistence is what will bring us to the promiseland, so to speak, but what comes with persistence is the assumption that there is more that lies ahead.

It makes sense that Churchill thought this way, given the events that he lived through. He saw the end of WWI, the war to end all wars, just to see the beginning of WWII. He saw the futility in trying to end the problem of problems. Our success are only successes for now. Our failures are only failures for now. He understood what matters in the face of this absurdity, to develop ourselves to have the courage to continue.

This fascinated me for a while. I couldn’t understand why someone would not want to try to solve the meta-problem (that problems exist) and would rather focus their energy in building the courage to keep fighting, but then it hit me. Success, fulfillment, the peak human experience is not defined by what we are aiming in the earthly sense. Aiming at”worldly” outcomes yields a temporary release, but aiming at virtues gives us a whole new set of skills. Churchill switches the conversation from aiming towards vaguely defined earthly success to aiming towards the virtues. This gives us the ability to contend with existence with a whole new, and more effective, arsenal. Success is a journey. Whether we failed or succeeded yesterday, it doesn’t matter. The truth is, we must do it again today.